This summer wasn’t picture-perfect. It wasn’t the kind of summer you see in glossy magazines or Instagram reels filled with family vacations and sun-kissed smiles. It was real life — autism parenting in all its messy, beautiful, exhausting, and joyful glory.
And yet — this summer also gave me gifts I didn’t expect.
I had both Ella and Luke with me the majority of the summer. That meant long days, few breaks, and moments when I felt stretched to my limit. There were tears (sometimes mine, sometimes theirs), rigid routines to navigate, food battles that tested my patience, and the ever-present hum of autism anxiety that seems to ride shotgun in our family life.
Finding Joy in the Everyday
Luke thrives in summer. He comes alive with the sunshine, the freedom, and the sensory joy of swimming and dancing outside. Watching him splash in the pool, laughing with abandon, or spinning to music on the deck reminded me that joy doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as water, music, and movement.
Those moments bonded us in a way that words can’t capture — and since Luke is non-verbal, that connection is especially powerful. We communicated through laughter, eye contact, and shared rhythm. Those memories will stay with me long after the summer sun fades.
Holding Space for Ella
For Ella, summer is a different story. Routine disruptions can be overwhelming, and her OCD and anxiety don’t take a vacation. There were stormy days — both in the weather and in her emotions — when I wasn’t sure how to help. But there were also quiet victories: completing puzzles together, diving into art projects, and finding small ways to ease her mind when the forecast (literally) didn’t cooperate.
Ella reminded me, as she always does, that patience and presence matter more than perfection.
Survival Mode Can Still Be Sacred
There were days when I felt like I was just surviving — shuttling between activities, refereeing sibling tensions, and trying to carve out five minutes to breathe. But survival isn’t failure. Sometimes survival is the bravest form of love.
And in the midst of it, I noticed something important: even in survival mode, there was connection. There was growth. There was joy.
What I’ll Carry Into Fall
This summer taught me that bonding doesn’t always happen on vacations or during “special” moments. It happens in the ordinary — on the back deck while dancing, in the pool while laughing, over puzzles spread out across the table.
As fall approaches and routines shift again, I want to hold onto that lesson: joy can be found right here, in the chaos and the calm, if I stop to notice it.
Because at the end of the day, what my kids will remember isn’t that I had it all together — it’s that I was with them.
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